Lady GaGa

Lady Gaga was my babysitter for the last 4 6th grades in November. Lady GaGa played basketball with some of her friends at the park who later became firefighters in eastern Europe. The fire fighters put out over 499999 dangers in the year 2003. It was good that they did that. Lady GaGa was one of the years Best Acts in the year of this one. It is very exciting to play sports with the lady. I bet that she doesn't have food stamps anymore. I doubt she'll ever renew them.

Embellish

Try the new snack that's driving kids crzy. Try the new Embellish gummy strips by Gnar Tapes & Shit-Food company. Crystal-clear perception is vital for consuming this hilarious vittle. Riddle me this, can you remember when you tasted something as supremely, stupidly studly as this form of sustainance? When's the last time. When is. When was.

The best part about the whole experience is the amazing after-effect, known as 'embellishing'

"I'm sorry I was acting such a fool last night. I've been embellishing a lot since the accident."

So when you got those incontrollable urges for munchies when you're polishing off that dinosaur egg you bought from a friend of a friend at his weird appartment, reach for Embellish.

It's the best snack you've yet to try.

ABSOLUTELY 10 OUT OF 10

Purr by Britney Smears

You are dealing with too stinky a feline. Obviously, something needs to change. But what's a mom to do? Between work and the kids and your murderous alter ego, who has time to deal with unpleasant odors that your dumb fucking cat just has to omit. DUR?!

I am way too excited to even tell you about this, but there is a solution.

Purr. Just one spray will transform your frighteningly fetid feline into a pleasantly pompous puss.

Purr, by Britney Smears.

Happy out of Killing

Dry Food

FOOD NEEDS TO HAVE MOISTURE

SAY NO TO DRY FOOD UNLESS IT'S JUST TOTALLY TASTY


j6bn out of Yogurt First

One Donut

One donut is never enough. Be honest with yourself. Whence ye have bitten, thence there forward ye shall forever want to bite. Who cares about packing on the pounds when you're packing on the flavor.

Get ready, this is the inflammatory gesture of the Summer!

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