Meat Salad

Meet salad, cool, ok, just fine.

Meat salad, awesome, dumb, sick.

6/10

JFKFC

You put it in your mouth and it's just like OH MY GOD so good oh my god so yummy. Did you know that when JFK died they took a thigh from his leg? There were three friends, all of which were named Dale, and all of which had sleepy fathers that dreamed of playing the guitar. They wanted their fathers to make a band of three guitarists and that their Dale's, all of which played the drums, would hold down the rhythm section.

They dreamed of late night beer parties where friends were made and phone numbers were harvested. Thankfully, as I'm sure you are fully aware, the three boys hired a Puerto Rican prosty to take out the Presidential frosty. 45 seconds and a minute or so of Super8 later the thigh was acquired and the chicken frying secret recipe was begun.

According to urban neo-folksy fortune telling televisions, the boys are coming and they're coming soon.

"Out of 10.... I'll give it a a a a 3"
-your mom
-and your dad

Cheesy Double Beef Burritto

THIS IS FUCKING GROSS.

0 out 10

Daffy Duck Painting the Sky

Just because you came here to fuck doesn't mean you're going to get away with touching my ass like that. It's just a little weird man... OK?

Kind of fucking weird when you touch me like that. OMG!

10 out 10

2 Free Widmer Mini-Kegs

I got two of these mutha suckas for free the other night and we got toasted! Get ready for some next level shit next time you want to challenge your belief in positive cosmos!

9.5 out of 10

(-.5 because the first one was hard to open.)

π(pie)

π is sooooo yummy. Yummy yummy in my tummy!!! Times a million and one. When I eat it i'm all like woahhhhhh this is so yummy. if you ever have chance to have some dude do it. brah its like so hella tight. 

BRAND NEW FOOD POISSON POULET !!!!

LE POISSON POULET AKA FISH CHIKEN EST UN ANIMAL DOUX ET SEXUELLEMENT

TRANSMISSIBLE

A MANGER FROID , CHAUD , CUIT OU FOURRER ,

LE POISSON POULET EXITE VOS PULSIONS SEXUELLE

PLEASE HAVE A TEST

Mango

There are about twenty three reasons why I need to tell you about this amazing new dietary supplement! Pack this muthafucka up in a glass bong or even a little fake-cigarette-lookin one hitter and get your inner relaxation on! One of the rarer buds we here at Bitchpork.Com have encountered, this sticky grass sensation was an overnight hit (literally!) One of the cheif characteristics of Mango is its unmistakeable appearance; abundant bright-orange hairs poke our from every crack and a massive crystal count makes it look like it was dipped in a LOT of sugar.
It is the taste, however, of this wonderful bud that makes it so very exceptional. As soon as the smoke creeps into your mouth an immediate sensation of sweetness pulls at the roof of your mouth and works it's way down into your throat, turning spicy as the surprisingly dense smoke fills the lungs. This is where it gets tricky; trying to hold the pungent fog in your gully can be quite a feat of strength and determination. Most everyone, whether they be a well-seasoned toke-monster or a casual smoker, is left clutching their chest, coughing mightily.
Whether you want to get down on duplicating tapes or you just want to relax after all that coffee you had today, Mango will smoothly soothe your inners with a deep, mellowing calm.

100 of 10

"I smoke marijuana because I want to go to heaven before I die."