Pancakes In Space

despite overwhelming opposition, pancakes have finally reached the final frontier.
well fuck, if i wanted to see flapjacks in space i would have called David Bowie a long time ago. Don't get me wrong, i love pancakes i love everything about them. Their buttery, syrupy, doughy goodness still haunts my dreams.
But if there is one thing i hate its a stack of pancakes in a space suit standing on mars with no goddamn helmet

0 OUT OF NEVER

Hobo Toast

Hobo Toast.

Is it toast made of hobos?

(imposable joint trick)

Or rather,



hobos made of toast?



An illusive member of the breakfast chamber of commerce, it has many aliases. Beware.



Specs:

Hemi: yes.

Compadaple with 64 bit Vista: ...yes.

Tax deductible: no-sir.

Health Care: some.


Call it anxiety. Call it anything you want.

Top it with that Adams "Crunchy" peanut butter.

Soooooooo good it will make you say things like:

My nose is oozing. Is that a good sign?

...Depends on what it's oozing.

It's just mucus...

Hey. Who knows if you'll be a hobo in ten years.

Man.

Better sharpen that hobo kinfe

wangfans.



4 out of 5 (plus a little change)

Domino's $5.55 Multi Deal

Uhm, some cum comes from some dumb tum*. Then again, when Ken blends zen in ren, my pie fly's high.

Pie?

Why, a pizza pie, guy!

Not from a pizza guy.

Why?

Why, it was picked up direct, guy!

Pretty cheap. There were multitudes of condom mints to put on top of the greasy greasy pleasure. I'll give you pleasure.

Mmm; I can't feel no better.

I roll the nickles. 333 nickles, 2b exact, will purchase 3 medium, one topping pizzas. Double double dougie dumble double your deal for 666 nickles worth of pleasure.

We run the underworld, guy.

Infinite corners out of four.

*Tumtimes

32 Fl Oz Lemon-Lime Gatorade

If you are dehydrated, drinking a Gatorade is better for you than water alone. This is because the body maintains a delicate balance of alkaline and acid salts. Washing an already dry body will send your salts barreling to your bladder, only to be pissed out later while your body slowly continues its downward journey. I'm not saying that Gatorade is your best choice. It's preferable to eat some fruit or drink juice before introducing your water-barren body to H2O.

Enjoy while getting head from your friend's little sister.

She used to be so young.

5 out of 5

Steak

"The best thing about a drive home from your husband's father is that you get to meat the steak. The steak that brought you back from nowhere." - Lars Hammer

The steak becoming seemingly extinct brought the uppermost intimidation to the table. Though most people use salt most people would recommend pepper. In this economy I guess it's increasingly happier to say.

"no." - Godugly

3 out of 9

Lychee Fruit

This shit was nasty. I had no idea what the hell it was at first. Caroline and Sarah were trying to get me to eat one, but they wouldn't tell me what they were. I seriously considered that the fruit my be either A) from another world/existence B) poisonous or C) some strange pod/egg designed to proliferate a prehistoric parasite and that Caroline and Sarah were involved with some kind of cult eons old. When I peeled it I saw a milky white interior glistening, revealing grape-like meat. They told me not to eat the seed, but I did. Now I am a tree.

2 out of 10

Jack in the Box - Junior Bacon Cheeseburger

I had two today.

It made me hurt a little; it was a good hurt... once it was over I felt like I needed more.

Addiction makes you crazy - Bill Nye says that when you are an addict, your emotions can control your ability to make decisions; decisions about weather or not to buy bacon cheeseburgers.

They made it really quickly. They waited till I ordered it.

It was a bit of an experience. The words to explain it escape me presently, but my terry gary perry very verily takes the squary rarely route in toot in good time. For you? Not entirely. A little bit of every dimension wields a pleasantly present - yet maliciously delicous - blueprint (or archetype) by which the consciousness is carried.

Without the vocals, it just grinds - you know?

Grinding is good, but you need the vocals to carry the consciousness.

20 pieces out of 30 piece combo.

MISO SOUP

Miso soup is a healthy snack made for the all American man. Its liquid texture makes it possible to slurp on the go. If you need a quick pick me up, grab a taste of this Kenyan classic. Pick up a pint at your local Plaid Pantry and don't forget your Chilly Cheese Fritos for easy dipping . Salty, sweet, sour it has every taste you need in your esophagus. Just remember don't eat to much or you may have miso poop.

Turkey Stuffed Lobster

Sounds fowl...

Something Fissssshy going on?

Shell we?

We butter.

Meat butter.

3 Meat Treat

Introducing the greatest release from little caesars:
The Original round pizza. Genetically altered naturally to taste like a real pizza that was at one point round. 7 out of 8 only because the taste of the insulation in the macrophages went dry upon impact. Foam moths drip out of your mouth into a

gooey trance of totally blastyness.

Dean's French Onion Dip

Dean's French Onion Dip has 60 calories in each serving (2 Tbsp) and only 5g of fat! Seriously buy a bag of Ruffles. I usually put half a serving on each chip and usually end up eating the whole tub. It's fucked up, but kind of cool because it makes you feel really high. I looked it up on Erowid and it says that LSD is the best known and most researched drug. It also says that you need some kind of "sitter," though I'm not sure what that means. I waited until Friday and took about 4 Tbsp at like 1:30 PM exactly. I thought it wasn't working after about 2:23 PM when I still didn't feel high. But after around exactly 2:56 PM it hit me like a ton of bricks. Or like hitting a brick wall. I wasn't fuckin' trippin' dude! I was high until around 3:12 AM and I couldn't sleep, so I put on The Wall and chilled out thinking about how cool my day was.

PEACE OUT OF VIETNAM

shit -wich

The shit sandwich makes most people think of halo III. When I first encountered the shit sandwich I was on my IIIIth expedition to the smile river. The river was where I met lord springfountain. He laid all my dreams to rest when I came to his for dinner. I fell down his basement shaft and woke up in a dark bathroom chained to a toilet. I had to saw off my right foot to escape. During this period I encountered the shit sandwich.

Taco Bell

Mental Breakdown.

Taco Bell started in '87 as a project to keep kids away from cigarette. The plan backfired in '85 when Taco Bell put cigarettes in the baja blast. They decided to make Taco's and Chalupuh's friend's butter happy - but they fucked up with stale tortilla's and there was still cigarette's body in the baja blast.

Crack Cocaine in the Mild Sauce, too.

I guess you just got to take it

day by day.

The Grandito Burrito

Today I had the Grandito Burrito by Don Miguel. It was really good. I picked it up down at Bob's Market for a few bucks, not expecting much, yet here I am two hours later without an ounce of searing gas pains. Well done.

I give it 2 stars out of 10.