The Cherry Tomato

This isn't you. And if you think it is, you're just going to have to get it in better. FUCK. Give me a dollar.

Seriously though, it's not something to be proud of even if it was. Cherry tomato's are for salads.

Applebee's

Fellow musicians & friends,

My band was hired to perform at the Applebee's establishment on 100th and Halsey April 20th. We made a flyer and promoted for weeks prior to that date. Immediately after walking in the resturant we felt disrespected by the bar tender and (music) manager. Our show was supposed to run 9-11PM. They failed to clear a spot for us to set up and did not want us to do so until after the blazer game was over sometime after 10PM. We brought inside our PA system and all of our gear ready to set up ahead of time. Then the unimaginable happened when they told us to pack up and leave without our $100 pay and two food items per band member as arranged. The emotions that I was feeling were unexplainable. Especially, dealing with something as personal as my music. The most frusturating part was that they clearly enjoyed telling us to leave considering that they were instigating the situation with thier smart-ass attitudes while taunting us for only bringing in a few fans. I can honestly say I have never met more unprofessional people. I will continue to persue this event in every way I can to insure that this will never happen again. So please, help us in any way you can. I called the police and they gave me another number to call and they said that it's not a criminal injustice and all that I can do is take them to court. I disagree. This will not be taken lightly. Do not make the same mistake we did by booking with them or ever eating at an Applebee's again. Special thanks to our friends who did come out to support us that night.

Kicked out of Applebee's

Church's Chicken

"HOLY SHIT!"

is what this religious chicken blessed me with. The beauty of this dead bird brought a new light upon thine. I was brought into a whole new world. No longer did I have to recede to the story of Jacob. My dead chicken thighs were true and cured me from all my sins I had cast upon myself. I am a new person now, Church\'s chicken amen. The father, the son, and the holy bird of Texas for only 99 cents?1!?!

10 out of god

Puppies

BRO YOU SEE EM WALK DOWN THE STREET JUST SHOWIN OFF. YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKIN ABOUT. WITH THAT LITTLE WALK WITH THAT LITTLE BOUNCE IN THEIR STEP. THESE FUCKIN LITTLE BITCHES. GODDAMN THEY SO CUTE. THEY SO NICE I WANT PUT HEAD IN MY MOUTH. BIG PUPPY EYES. FINE ASS. BRO. FR REAL. YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKIN ABOUT. BRO THIS PUPPY IS SO GOOD. OH GOD BRO. I\'M GETTING KINDA HARD BRO. BRO THIS PUPPY IS ALMOST AS GOOD AS THE NEW ANIMAL COLLECTIVE EP. BRO THIS PUPPY IS BETTER THAN THE NEW VAMP WEEKEND ALBUM. BRO IF THIS PUPPY WERE RELEASED AS AN ALBUM ON SUBPOP TH REAL PITCHFORK WOULD TOTALLY GIVE THIS PUPPY A 8.7-8.8 OUT OF 10.0. YEAH BRO IVE TOTALLY GOT A HARDON. FURRY FUCKIN LITTLE PUPPIES WALKIN AROUND LIKE PET ME PET ME IM SO CUTE SO NICE. SO NICE. SO LITTLE FURRY PUPPY DOG BUDDY I WANNA PUT HEAD IN MY MOUTH. FUCKIN PUPPY MY MOUTH WET. FUCKIN DROOL ON NEW AMERICAN APPAREL HOODIE. FUCKIN PUPPY FURRY ON MY HOODIE. FUCKIN JERKIN LITTLE PUPPY DONG. WANNA PUT HEAD IN MOUTH. MY MOUTH SO WET. ME SO HUNGRY. ME PLAY PUPPY GAMES.

8.7-8.8 OUT OF 10.0

Donut Bacon Cheeseburger

See what we like to do is make it nasty! It kills your from within and leaves you weeping for life! Weeping to live and weeping forever for the pork that screams in your ass. Cock. Balls.

0 is what makes the donut

Genoa Salami

Oh it's delicious
Now baby don't get suspicious
You know Salami is a friend of mine
And you know that it's true,
All the Salam that I do,
Is gonna come out of me in my sweet time,

Come equipped to make
Salami, salami
Come ready to eat
Salami, salami

It's OK to eat the meat!

5/5

STRANGER DANGER: Ronall McDonall

Somewhere outside in the dark in the rain he stands naked.
His makeup shall not fade.
His burgers are mildly enjoyable, but his fries are so good.
Milkshakes aren't good for you.

When Ronall was a baby clown, his parents didn't know what to do. That bright red hair and white skin frightened the other children. As Ronall grew older, he became more withdrawn and insular. Researchers believe that it was in this time period that Ronall first starting his dark games. First on the neighborhood children, whose parents' grief was immediate and sharky. But it wasn't long before Ronall's cruel games turned to fun!

NOW THE DOLLAR MENU IS SMALLER! IN DAVIS, CA THERE IS NOTHING ON THE VALUE MENU!

99cents out 100